For grieving children and families, the start of the new school year, is another item on the long list of things that they are going to have to ride through a roller coaster of emotions as they experience each day.
Grieving children may feel fearful, anxious, and sad. They often worry about being separated from their loved ones, and are worried that they’ll lose another loved one while they are in school. They also worry about feeling different from their peers who haven’t lost a loved one. For a parent grieving the loss of a spouse, starting a new school year as a single parent for the first time can also be extremely stressful. For families who lost a school-aged child, the start of the school year can be extremely difficult and challenging.
Emma’s Place is here for you during your transition into the new school year. We’d also like to offer some tips below to help the transition be a bit smoother.
Tips for Parents to Help Grieving Children as They Start the School Year:
Set up some coping tools with your child before they start school. These can include:
- Giving them a small picture of you, or a special memento that will help them feel
- connected to you when you are separated during the day.
- Putting notes in their school lunch or backpack to let them know they are loved.
- Explaining to the child that friends may seem a little shy with them at first, but that has more to do with the friends not knowing what to say, rather than anything about the child themselves, and help them formulate some conversation starters.
- Helping your child realize that it is Ok to not answer questions about the death of their loved one that they don’t want to answer.
- Letting your child know it is OK to have fun.
Inform your child’s teachers and the school counselor that your child is grieving so that:
- Teachers can understand the reason why your child may seem distracted and have had a change in their behavior or attitude.
- Counselors can check in with your child periodically and set up some times when they
- can speak with you to update you on how your child is doing and address any issues.
- Teachers can allow the grieving child to look at photos or keep mementos out on their desk to help with any separation anxiety they may be feeling.
Tips for Grieving Parents to Help Themselves:
- Develop a means of support prior to the start of the school year so you can have someone as a back-up to help pick up your child if you’re having a bad day.
- Join a bereavement support group (EMMA’S PLACE!) or speak to a counselor if things get overwhelming.
- Accept help when people offer.
- Remember to take care of yourself and the analogy of oxygen masks on an airplane. You are told to put on your own mask before you can help anyone else.
