There is nothing as powerful as a mother’s love, and nothing as healing as a child’s soul. – Author unknown
While each person’s journey of grief is as individual and unique as they are, there are certain milestone days throughout the year, that are usually particularly hard for the bereaved, such as anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays.
The above quote gets to the heart of illustrating how extremely difficult Mother’s Day can be for those who are grieving the heartbreaking loss of their mom, any other mother figure in their life, or the incredibly heart-wrenching and painful loss of a child.
What makes it even harder, is that some of the things that you may try to do to distract yourself from thinking about Mother’s Day, such as watching TV, listening to the radio, or scrolling through social media, may cause you to be blindsided when you are assaulted with some type of Mother’s Day reminder. This can be a commercial for a gift for mom during your favorite show, a song dedication from a child to their mother right after you were moving to the beat of an upbeat tune, or a posting from your best friend about the great plans they have for Mother’s Day. When we’re caught off guard like that, we can feel overwhelmed by our feelings, and it feels like an insurmountable task to get through Mother’s Day.
Emma’s Place has put together a few suggestions of some ways to cope during that day. We realize that not every suggestion will apply to every person, but we hope you can find something that will help you.
- Remember any feeling you have is OK. When you are grieving, it is important to allow yourself to feel your feelings, and not judge yourself or criticize yourself for having them. Here are some tools for dealing with some difficult emotions that sometimes accompany grief:
- If you’re feeling angry, find a healthy way to channel that anger, such as exercising (if medically safe for you); punching or hitting a tennis racket on a soft pillow; or going to an empty space where no one is around and yelling. Anger is a strong energy, and it is helpful to find healthy ways to release it.
- If you’re feeling guilty regarding things you didn’t say to or do for your lost loved one, write a letter to the person you lost, expressing your apologies. Also, be aware that sometimes the guilt that accompanies grief is not based on a transgression, but is a way of our mind causing us to have a feeling that is more well-known to us, and makes us feel like we have more control than we do, rather than having to deal with the feeling of realizing that sometimes, bad things happen that are beyond our control.
- If you are feeling sad, be gentle, kind, and compassionate with yourself. Speak to yourself as you would speak to a dear friend. If it feels right for you, perform an activity to honor your loved one, such as organizing a memorial gathering where memories of your loved one can be shared. You can also creatively express your feelings by drawing, writing, or working with clay.
- Spend the day doing what feels best for YOU, and not just following along with what well-meaning friends or relatives believe would be good for you.
- Realize that any difficult way you are feeling is not permanent. When we are feeling particularly bad, it seems like the feeling will never go away, but all emotions are not permanent.
If you would like to reach out to Emma’s Place, please contact us at: telephone: 347.850.2322, email: firstname.lastname@example.org, or visit our website at www.emmasplacesi.org. We will be holding those of you who are grieving close in our thoughts and hearts, and we are here to support you if you would like to reach out.